It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Found the puke drawer
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize