so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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