I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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