True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
