Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
