Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
