I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
