Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
