I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
