you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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