I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
