How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have fence marks all over my body
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
