Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize