carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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