god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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