i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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