I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
