Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
