I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
