Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
