brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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