My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
