distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
