bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
