What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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