i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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