Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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