she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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