redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize