I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
