Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
