I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
