We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
