I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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