I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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