Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
