Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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