After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
