i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
