I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize