what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
