I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
