So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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