We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
