Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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