So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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