What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
