I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think my vagina is haunted
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
