Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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