White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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