Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize