nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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