I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
