I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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