loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
