4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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