he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
