My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize