it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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