Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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