a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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