I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
